


we were only caterpillars (and maybe we can grow into butterflies)

by sakura_freefall



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abusive Parent, Adopted Siblings, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Family Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hopper is a good dad, Hurt/Comfort, JUST SISTERLY LOVE, Kid Fic, Martin Brenner is world's worst foster father, No Incest, Poor El and Kali, Protective Siblings, Sibling Bonding, Trauma Bonding, as in they're kids, kali is a badass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27905770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakura_freefall/pseuds/sakura_freefall
Summary: Jane was five years old when her mama got hurt.Jane was seven years old when Aunt Becky left and she met Kali in the rainbow room.Jane was also seven years old when she met the man who called himself her Papa.Eleven was eight years old when Papa hit her for the first time.Eleven was nine years old when Kali, who Papa hit way, way more, ran away.Eleven was twelve years old when she ran away herself.El was also twelve years old when Chief Jim Hopper found her in the middle of the woods and decided to save her.El was thirteen when her path led her full circle, back to the person she'd been a caterpillar with.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper & Becky Ives, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Jim "Chief" Hopper, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Kali Prasad, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Terry Ives, Kali Prasad & The Outcasts
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	we were only caterpillars (and maybe we can grow into butterflies)

**Author's Note:**

> Due to circumstances beyond my control (and some illegal netflix bootlegs), I am now a Kali stan.
> 
> (AU with no powers and no upside down)
> 
> Note: This fic centers on the experiences and effects of kids growing up in a physically abusive home. If this content triggers or upsets you, I would recommend finding a different fic.

Jane was five years old when her mama left. Her Aunt Becky said that it wasn't her fault; the accident at her work that left her unable to speak or move her lower body wasn't Jane's fault. Jane didn't like Aunt Becky very much; she was fussy and got mad and snapped sometimes, but Aunt Becky also made her waffles and read her stories and tucked her into bed because Mama couldn't.

But Aunt Becky wasn't Mama. And when Jane was seven years old, Aunt Becky met a guy and forgot about Jane. She took Jane to the big building with a lot of other kids and a lot of loud noise and words she could read now: INDIANA FOSTER AGENCY. She didn't know what a foster was, or an agency, but it seemed boring and menacing and not nice, and the grown-ups talked about lots of things like "step-siblings" and "adoption process". 

They took her to a room with a rainbow on the door, and had her play with toys with another little girl, one with darker skin and hair in two braids, who they called Kali. Except for the adults called her Case Eight, or sometimes just Eight. They called Jane Case Eleven. Jane didn't like that very much, because she didn't know what they meant by 'case' or where her Aunt Becky was or when she could go home and have waffles for being a good girl.

Kali was a whole eleven years old, which felt like an adult to Jane. But she was nice and drew really pretty butterflies and didn't treat Jane like a baby the way Aunt Becky and Aunt Becky's guy friend did. Jane asked Kali what the Foster Agency was and why they were here, and Kali told her that it was because their parents either couldn't have them anymore or didn't want them.

"Oh. My mama got hurt. At work. Aunt Becky said she was pare-lyzed. Like she couldn't move or anything. She just watches TV all day."

"Aw, I'm sorry," Kali said, patting Jane on the head. "What about your daddy?"

"My daddy isn't here anymore," said Jane, recalling what her Mama had told her before the accident. "He had to go to the war. They said he died."

"Oh, gosh, that's awful," Kali replied.

"It's okay. He left for the war before I was born. I don't remember him." Jane wanted to ask Kali why she was here, if her parents were gone too, but Aunt Becky said that asking those kinds of questions were rude and rude little girls didn't get waffles.

But Kali didn't seem to care because she answered anyways, like she could read her mind. "My mom died in a car crash when I was eight. My dad decided he didn't want me anymore. He was always really busy with work and stuff."

"Oh," said Jane, not sure what to say. "My Aunt Becky is like that sometimes. Only for her it's not work, it's this guy named Mr. Owens who comes over and kisses Aunt Becky and she gets distracted and forgets to make me her waffles."

"That sucks," Kali mused. "My dad did that sometimes, only my mom taught me to cook before- before the accident, so it wasn't as bad."

"Aunt Becky is weird," Jane continued. "Sometimes she's really nice and reads me stories and hugs me, but sometimes she's grumpy and yells at me and spends a lot of time on the phone."

"Sounds like a hell of an odd lady," Kali said, and Jane's eyes widened because Kali just _cursed_ and one time Jane cursed in front of Aunt Becky and Aunt Becky said that that was a nasty word and not to say that again and then sent her to her room without any waffles. But Kali was different than Aunt Becky and the kids at school, who were all loud and rowdy but never did anything that was not allowed. 

The nice woman with the poofy blonde hair came in after a little while and said that they'd found someone and since Kali and Jane seemed to get along really well, they would get to go together and be sisters. Jane had never really thought about what it would be like to have a sister, but if she was going to have one, she was glad it was Kali and not someone else.

Aunt Becky said good-bye and promised to call and visit sometimes but she was going to move to Indianapolis with Mr. Owens probably, and Jane pouted because Mr. Owens caused all kinds of problems even though Aunt Becky was weird to begin with.

She didn't mention Mama.

The man they went home with's name was Martin Brenner, and he was kind of old with greyish hair and a nice suit, and he was really tall. And he said they could call him Papa, which was nice because Jane had never had a papa before. Kali pouted, and Jane thought it was maybe because Kali's real papa wasn't nice.

Papa was quiet but mostly nice the entire way home and Jane thought that maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

Jane was wrong.

It started when they learned that Papa had an important job and most of the time he would shut them in their room with sandwiches and water and some crayons while he was at his work. Apparantly Papa took care of lots of kids and didn't really like Jane and Kali specifically. He mostly just called them Eight and Eleven, which made Kali really angry and mutter nasty words under her breath. Jane didn't care very much. Jane was a boring name anyways and once they'd been there for about six months, she thought of herself as more of Eleven than Jane. Kali still called her Jane, though, but it was almost like Jane was a weird sort of halfway-happy dream that Eleven would have to wake up for whenever Papa came home and made them to chores and math charts- Eleven wondered why they didn't go to school like regular kids but Papa didn't like when she asked questions, so she learned to keep her mouth shut.

Eleven didn't like Aunt Becky that much, but she was an angel compared to Papa.

Then one time Papa and Kali had a big fight because Kali didn't want to put her crayons away and clean the kitchen like Papa told her to. Papa yelled a lot, which was normal because Papa yelled at Eleven sometimes too and she was used to it. But this wasn't normal yelling, this was big screaming red-faced yelling and Papa called Kali some nasty words and Kali called Papa them right back.

That was when Papa punched Kali in the face. Not a little warning punch, a big serious punch that made Kali cry and made her nose bleed. Kali wiped off her nose and then cleaned the kitchen with her head down before going back into their room and shutting the door.

"Eleven, I want to talk to you," said Papa after that.

Maybe he was going to apologize. Although Eleven didn't know why Papa would apologize to her and not Kali. "Okay."

"Eleven, you're a very good little girl."

"Thank you, Papa?" Eleven responded.

"You do as you're told and make it easy for me to do my important work. But I don't want you getting bad influences from your sister."

"Why?" Eleven asked. Sure, Kali yelled and stomped and cursed sometimes, but she also drew rainbow butterflies and played rock-paper-scissors with Eleven and gave her the ham from her sandwiches.

"Eight is a bad girl. She doesn't listen and doesn't do her work. She's going to end up bad."

"What?!" Eleven shouted, surprised and confused. "Kali isn't bad! She's really nice to me and-"

"QUIET!" Papa yelled. "You don't yell at me in this house."

Eleven was angry now, because Papa yelled all the time, so why couldn't she? "But you yell all the time!"

"That's because I'm your Papa, and I can do things you can't."

"Like hit people?"

"You watch your smart little mouth around me. You've been learning this from your brat sister, haven't you?"

This gave Eleven an idea. Kali had told her words that she could say to adults that were stupid or mean. Like how Papa was being right now. "Mouthbreathing bastard."

"What did you just call me?" Papa asked, snarling.

Eleven couldn't lose her nerve now. Kali never lost her nerve. "I said y-you were a m-mouthbreathing bastard."

"NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" screamed Papa. "Give me your arm."

"Why?"

"NOW!" Eleven held out her arm, wondering what Papa wanted. Papa spread his fingers out wide and hit Eleven hard on the arm. Eleven yelled in shock, it felt like a white-hot brand had been shoved onto her skin for a second.

"Papa..."

"It's a warning, Eleven. You're my favourite, it would be a shame for you to turn out like that bitch." Eleven knew that 'bitch' was another nasty word, and she didn't like that Papa was calling Kali that.

"Okay, Papa." For now, Eleven just didn't want him to hit her again.

Eleven was nine years old when things changed.

Papa had gotten meaner. He hit more. One time he cut off Eleven's hair as punishment, leaving her almost completely bald. Kali and Papa got into more big fights and Papa would hit Kali, sometimes with his fist, sometimes with whatever was in his hand. One time he hit her with a broomstick and she felt dizzy the entire rest of the day.

Papa didn't hit Eleven very much, probably because Eleven had learned to be quiet and not argue with Papa. Papa smiled at her sometimes and patted her on the shoulder if she got all her math questions right, and hung up her drawing of them on the refridgerator. Papa called Eleven his favourite a lot, but never in front of Kali. 

One day, Eleven asked Kali a question. "Kali, if our papa doesn't hit us if we're quiet and listen, why don't you just be quiet and listen?"

"To hell with that," Kali growled. "That bastard motherfucker isn't our papa. I'm not gonna listen to him."

"But he makes your nose bleed when he hits you."

"Eh, whatever," the older girl shrugged. "It's nothing. He does it to you sometimes too."

"He's only done it to me four times. He does it to you almost every day."

"He likes you better, okay? That's just a fact."

"Why do you put up with it?"

Kali took a deep breath. "You have to promise not to tell Papa."

Eleven's mother, way back when she was a normal little girl named Jane, had told her what a promise was. It was something you never ever broke. "Okay. I promise."

"I'm going to run away."

"What?!" Eleven gasped, eyes wide. "Where? How?"

"I've been stealing change from the countertop. I'm gonna go to Chicago. On the bus."

"What are you going to do in Chicago?" Eleven asked, still bewildered.

"I don't know," said Kali. "I'd take you, but you're safer here. I'm not."

"Okay," said Eleven. "But I don't want you to leave!" She sniffled. Kali was her only real friend here. Her sister. But she was right, as usual. Eleven wouldn't be safe in the big city. Papa wasn't as bad to Eleven as he was to Kali. Eleven would be okay.

"I'll come back for you someday, Jane," Kali murmured. 

"When are you leaving?"

Kali's expression was unreadable as she answered. "Tomorrow night."

The next night, Kali drew Eleven one last rainbow butterfly, and hugged her one last time. When Eleven woke up the next morning, Kali was gone.

Papa hit her for the fifth time that day, and Eleven cried as she rubbed the blood off her face.

Eleven was twelve years old when she ran away too. She'd had enough. She broke the window and climbed down the fire escape, after stealing Papa's old coat. Her hair was still boy-short from the last time Papa got angry, but the hood would keep her warm. It was winter, and so, so cold, and Eleven hadn't been out of the house in so, so many years.

She didn't take much. Just Kali's butterfly and the entire package of ham. It would have to do.

Eleven wandered for a long time before running into a big man with a beard who was not Papa. He said he was Chief Hopper and where were her parents, and Eleven said she ran away because her Papa hit her, and Chief Hopper asked her who her Papa was, and she said his name was Martin Brenner.

"Do you have any siblings? Anyone else who was there with you? This is important," Hopper said, using a serious tone.

"I- I had a sister. Not a real sister, but she lived there with me. She had dark skin and dark hair and she cursed a lot. Her name is Kali."

"Is she still there, then?"

"No, she ran away. To Chicago, she said." The chief just shook his head.

"What's your name?" he asked.

Eleven frowned. Jane was a name from years ago. It wasn't her anymore. "My- He called me Eleven."

"Cause of what, your case number? That's a dumb name. I'm gonna call you El."

END OF PART ONE


End file.
